Drunk Driver Calls The Police On Another Drunk Driver

A woman thought she was doing the public a service when she dialed her cell phone and called the police switchboard to report a drunk driver swerving back and forth on the road. The woman had left a local tavern very intoxicated and felt the need to call the police on this driver.

She was in for a big surprised when she gave detailed directions to the drunk driver she was following so she would not lose him. The police arrived with sirens going and pulled her over while she was still on the phone. She informed the officer that the car was getting away. The officer was completely floored with her story.

The woman was so drunk she could hardly stand up or even talk in an understanding manner. She was given a breathalyzer and failed horribly. She was arrested for second time drunk driving in eight months. She was so intoxicated, she could not understand why the officer let the drunk driver get away.

Morale of the story is: never call the police on someone if you have something to hide yourself.

Serial Flasher Said He Is To Small To Be The Flasher

A 41-year-old man was in court facing seven count of flashing. However, his defense was that it could not possibly be him because he is so small and ashamed of his size, he would not show it to anyone. He even provided pictures to confirm his defense.

After testimony from victims and people who had seen him standing naked in his driveway and front window of his home, the man was found guilty of being the serial flasher despite his claim.

Moral of this story is if you are trying to convince the judge and jury you are not the flasher, do not bring your pictures to court and parade them around the courtroom. You are only going to be laughed at.

Green Bay Packers Vs Dallas Cowboys

You would think this is the Super Bowl! People over in Wausau, Wisconsin have put their orders in for Dish TV and Direct TV, because Charter Communications, which has the cable, is not able to provide viewers the Green Bay Packers vs. Dallas Cowboy game on Thursday. Can you imagine the sport becoming so popular that the satellite companies are making a name for themselves!

The game promises to be as exciting as the Super Bowl because the Green Bay Packers are 10-1 while Dallas Cowboys are 10-1. The winner will prevail and have the right to say they are great! One only has to know where to look to watch the game of the century!

Bars are gearing up and the places that do have satellite are working their hardest to install satellite dishes for those in need. Who will be the winner of the Green Bay Packers vs. Dallas Cowboys? My prediction and hope is the Green Bay packers!!!!!

Never Tell The Police Where Your Drugs Are

A man and a woman were stopped when the man who was drunk driving for the seventh time, cut off a police car. As the officer approached his car, the man was eating his food rather fast and the officer told him to exit the car. The woman with him was also removed from the car.

Thinking that the officer was going to search his car for drugs, the man voluntarily told the officer that he did not need to search the car because his drugs were at home. After obtaining a warrant to search his home, officers found drug paraphernalia and baggies with cocaine residue along with a drug that he did not have a prescription for.

The man was charged with maintaining a drug trafficking house and procession of a narcotic along with the charge for drug paraphernalia. The woman who was asking oddly was stripped search and they found drug paraphernalia and a bag of cocaine in her crotch.

Morale of the story: Keep your mouth shut when you have nothing intelligent to say.

Sisters Keep Mom In Freezer

Not being able to say good-bye, two sisters bought their mom a space in the undertaker’s freezer for the past ten years. They each visit her weekly and have spent money for the freezer, five wooden coffins that keep rotting after so many years and for a make up job when needed.

The sisters aged 59 and 52, did not believe the death report about how their mother died. They keep her in the freezer in a New West London funeral parlor. The funeral parlor owner said that there is no law against keeping a loved one in the cooler, it is just a little strange.

Moral of the story: Make a Will or you may end up in a freezer as well. In addition, check the mental status of the family members who will be in charge of your funeral arrangements.

A Man Shoots The Family Goat Because Wife Did Not Buy Home Beer

A man who returned home from hunting a little tipsy, told his twenty-two year old daughter to call his wife and tell her to bring him home some beer when she was done working. The wife refused. The husband then told her, if she did not bring the beer home, he would shoot the family goats. They had two goats that lived with them.

When the wife returned home without the beer, the husband went outside and shot the one of the goats. The man was arrested and taken to jail. The woman had to call in sick for work the next day to bail her husband out of jail and is now facing termination of her job because she lied when she called in sick.

Little did the wife know, the story would make national news and her employer caught wind of the story and found out, she really was not sick as she stated.

Moral of the story: never refuse beer to a man who has goats. If you do, do not bail him out of jail until you are done working.

Woman Calls Police For Domestic Dispute

A woman called police because her husband was throwing things at her. They had both been drinking and had an argument otherwise known as a domestic dispute, which needed to stop. The woman called police and when they arrived, they saw a broken living room table with signs of marijuana.

Police then did a search of the house and found marijuana plants growing in a closet with other drug paraphemalia in the home. The suspect told deputies that he had to use marijuana for his multiple sclerosis.

The morale of this story is if you have drugs in the house do not call the police. Just walk away or you may go to jail for stupidity.

Stupid criminals amaze us.

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